Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Random Chatter

Well we solved the giraffe infestation. We wrangled them all up, and the let them loose on unsuspecting victims. Muhahaha It was dark, we were attacked by all sorts of hobgoblins, and fairy folk. We took our giraffes and tossed them into their magic rucksacks, which made them run. Occasionally we were plagued by the same hobgoblins, but we were lucky enough to have plenty of giraffe ammo. We are now trying to translate their elfish language. Each time they would attack, they all yelled the same thing "trunkortreat". I am thinking it translates into "We are the Borg, prepare to be assimilated", or maybe just "Give Me"? I don't know, as long as it doesn't mean "To Serve Man" I am okay with it.
The loneliness of being a empty-nester Bishop's wife is getting to me! There is only so much you can say to the dog until she starts snoring. At least she keeps all my deep dark secrets, like the array of chicken suits I have in the back of my closet. My favorite is the neon green one with the little purple and yellow polka dots. Could you do me a favor? If you are reading this blog, can you post a comment? Just don't let anyone know about the chicken suits, it will be our secret. Thanks!

Friday, October 16, 2009

And so it starts

It is now official. It is the holidays. What makes it so official you ask? Because I just stowed away the big black box. In order to stow away the big black box, I first had to get out the other five big black boxes. And to get to the five big black boxes, I had to move a couch, open the drapes, rid the area of the giraffe infestation, and and get the step ladder. Yep, it is definitely the holidays, huh? I see you scratching your head with that puzzled look on your face. Okay, let me start at the beginning.
Back on April 1, 1964, in the town of Neenah Wisconsin a little red headed baby was born... maybe that is too far back.
It all started with a treasure hunt. I put on my boots and pith helmet, grabbed my flashlight and pitch fork and went exploring in the dense regions of the attached storage unit. (Known to most as the garage) After wrestling with the sleeping bags and various big hunks of metal, I found the treasure! An empty big black box! Those are very very rare!
Then, to the horror of all big black empty box collectors, I started to fill it. I put in all my knickknacks including the stone bird of happiness, most of my pictures, I even stuffed in that tatted doily from Great Aunt Norma.
I took that not so rare box upstairs. Now, all those who have never seen my upstairs, we have another storage unit... actually three storage units upstairs, but that is another story. In the storage unit known as the den, we put up ceiling to floor curtains four foot from the wall across one side of the room. We then made a nice little den out of the rest of the space including a couch!
I bet you can't guess what is behind the curtain? Wow you are good! It IS a big black filled box emporium! I moved the couch out of the way, opened the curtain, climbed the ladder and took out all five of the Halloween boxes which left me room to stow my big black box formerly known as rare empty box.
So Halloween is up, my knickknacks are put away until next year... You see? It is officially the holidays!
Now, what to do with the giraffe infestation?

Monday, August 24, 2009

How to Procrastinate

I have always been a dawdler, just ask my Dad. It took me three hours to clean my room when I was young. The first hour I would sit on my bed thinking of a plan of action on what to clean first etc. The next hour I spent meandering around the house looking for the right tools i.e. dust rag, vacuum, can of pop etc. The next thirty minutes I sat and drank my pop and wondered what I would do after my room was clean. The last thirty minutes I would actually clean my room.
Life hasn't really changed. I still procrastinate, but I try to do it creatively. So here is a list of ways to procrastinate the inevitable housecleaning.
1. Write in your blog. One of the things you could write in your blog is about how to procrastinate.
2. Ponder about your youth. You could sit and think about a time when you were younger. Maybe think of the time when you needed to clean your room and it took you three hours.
3. Stare at the monitor. Sometimes you get writers block, this is a good time to practice your "stare at the monitor" techniques. I am almost a professional at it. My mouth is slightly opened and I have just the right amount of drool dripping down to my shirt.
4. Plan ahead. A well trained procrastinator will be able to utilize a full half hour to plan ahead, especially if the professional has a can of pop. Planning should only be done if the plans are for after the work that you are procrastinating.
5. Take a break. Sometimes we should all take a break from procrastinating. The best breaks involve looking for the right tools, such as dust rags, vacuums and another can of pop.
With these simple ways, anyone can be a dawdler like me. We should get together and have a Procrastinator Convention. I will make the plans, right after I find the right tools, drink my can of pop, think of a plan of action, stare at the monitor etc, etc, etc. But first, I really should get back to my housework, now where did I put that can of pop?

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Summer's End

It is almost the end of summer vacation. Just because my kids have graduated and are out of the house doesn't mean I can't have a summer vacation! I have spent the majority of the summer on the beach sipping lemonade and getting foot massages from my cabana boy, Ricardo. Some dream, huh?
Back to reality. I have had a busy summer, but it has been fun! Here are some of the highlights:

1. Ice Cream Brick! Now that was funny. My hubby and I went up to girl's camp. We wanted to treat them to some ice cream. Did you know that if you put a slab of dry ice on top and the bottom of an ice cream bucket it will freeze it solid? We almost broke our scoop. And of course, the Stake President was there, we will never live it down.
2. Avatar at 1am. Here I am lying on a bunk bed at 1 am listening to 5 girls talk about bending, and I don't think they were talking about exercising. It was Youth Conference. I still am completely clueless about the subject.
3. Monkey poo, wizards and spies. Three Fun Fridays with the Cub Scouts. The First Friday we went to the zoo for Starry Safari. We were able to go into the monkey enclosure, and as the monkeys ran across the trees overhead, we were warned to watch out for falling monkey poo. The next Friday, was my Friday, and of course we did a Harry Potter theme, complete with wizard hats, wands and potions. And the last Friday was "When I grow up". For my time, we were spies. It wasn't easy, every once in awhile we had to hide under the tables or lay flat on the floor to avoid being captured by the bad guys. Too bad we didn't have our Invisibility Cloaks from the week before.
4. I do. A new friend moved into our ward and I was honored to be able to help plan her wedding.

With all of that, as well as cows, visits, meetings, and getting sick at the planetarium, my summer has been well packed with activities. So what next?
Next week starts up with regular Cub Scout den meetings, and teaching art to my genius minions.
Good bye Ricardo, I will see you next summer!

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Questions Answered

People have been coming up and asking me questions lately. So I think I will take a little time and answer some of the more serious questions.
Question number one:
Is Mushymushupointalotty in the Kellian Dictionary?
This question comes from one of my home school minions. She is such a genius! Mushymushupointalotty has not been properly defined as of yet. This is what we do know about it. It originates from the deep dark reaches of space. We found this out while studying the movie Flazzoiters in Space! We also know that it is a friend to the rare nocturnal bearacomb. I have had several minions draw this strange creature, nicknamed Mushmush. But I can't add it to my dictionary until I get a more precise picture that includes the anatomy of the creature as well as a well written thesis of its habits and habitats.
Question number two:
Who was the first George?
That is an easy one. A long long time ago, when my daughter was three years old (I was 26 years old) we did Joy School. In our group was a little boy named Justin. Justin had the energy of at least 300 flazzoiters! I think his switch was stuck on "Run Fast" because that was all he usually did. So often Justin would Run Fast into tables or walls. He would hit with a thud, smile and then Run Fast the other direction. He reminded my of George of the Jungle... watch out for that (fill in the blank)!! So I called him George. Well the other kids wanted to be called George too, and so my George legacy began. My daughter is now 21 and I am 29, (Funny how time works, my daughter must have shorter years than me?) and I have had hundreds of Georges.
Question number three:
How does it feel to be the Bishop's wife?
It feels just about the same as being married to the Second Counselor in the Bishopric, or the First Assistant in the High Priest's Group, or the Assistant Webelos leader, or any other of the many callings my hubby has had. I still have to clean up after him, cook his meals, save a place for him in the Harry Potter line... He is still the same ol' silly guy that I married.
Question number four:
Are you nuts?
This was asked just recently, by quite a few people.
Why yes I am and proud of it. There is nothing wrong with standing in line for 12 hours to see a movie, is there?

Friday, April 10, 2009

A Little Hard Chair

Did you know it was my birthday last week? Yeppers, it sure was! It was a most wonderful day. I sat on a little hard wood chair leaning over a table that was in a corner of a room. I sat there for almost five hours. Don't worry, I wasn't alone. My daughter sat next to me the whole time. I bet you wish you were sitting on a hard chair next to me too. Confused? Let me start at the beginning of the day.
It was Wednesday, April 1st. My super hubby took the day off, so we had a lazy daisy morning. You know the kind, pj's slippers, and bed head. The only thing that broke the peace and quiet was the loud thud of me hitting the floor after fainting when my neighbor called and wished me Happy Birthday! I never realized he even knew when it was! Soon after brunch, I got my self motivated and cleaned and dressed for the day. My daughter showed up at noon and we got ready to go to the hard chair place. I told my hubby we would be back in an hour, and he started laughing hysterically. He knew us girls pretty well, especially if it involved a paint brush! So my daughter and I went to As You Wish, a pottery painting place! It was so much fun, I didn't even realize we were sitting that long. I wonder why sitting on padded pews for an hour at Church is more painful than five hours on a little hard chair? Hmmm.... I think that the shop must have been in one of those space time anomolies, for every second you are painting an hour of the real world passes by.
So, I painted a big plate. On the center part I drew a bunch of Doodlebirds and one little wiggler. On the rim I wrote "Eighteen doodlebirds and a worm" It turned out cute, see? *holds plate up to monitor*
When we finally did a warp drive jump out of the shop and made it home, the house was decorated with all sorts of fun farm animals and a big Happy Birthday banner. My hubby is such a sweety. The answering machine was flashing with all sorts of well wishing messages. One from my Visiting Teacher, one from the Relief Society president, and even one from my good friend's hubby who was on a business trip in Texas! I was hopping for a certain person to call, but that is okay. I think if I had anymore calls, my halo wouldn't fit on my head.
I finished my day with a dinner at Chili's and dessert at home. What a fun day.

Monday, March 9, 2009


When all else fails, make up a new word. That is my motto. Some of these words and phrases, because they have been used so often, are in the unofficial Kellyan Dictionary. Such as Keywhompiejawed. I am notorious at being keywhompiejawed.
Keywhompiejawed-something that is askew, tangled or just plain messed up. When I put on my seat belt, it is invariably keywhompiejawed, so I have to untangle it. When I write on non-lined paper, my writing gets all keywhompiejawed and you wind up reading the paper while standing on your head.
Most of my unique words and phrases come from my Dad. He was a goof. One of his favorite words was skedoolie. You know that one, when you write down on the calendar the things you have to do for the week? Common people pronounce it "schedule", silly them. The actual word is skedoolie, look it up in the unofficial Kellyan Dictionary.
My late brother added a few entries to the dictionary too. His most renowned phrase is Black Amulga. It is a condition I suffer from quite often and can be very contagious. Black Amulga is where all the iron in your body turns to lead in your rump. Outsiders call it laziness, but I much prefer to call it by its more scientifical name.
There are some newer words that are being considered for entry into the unofficial Kellyan Dictionary, such as Flazzoiter and Fluzzerwad. These words and a few others are being tested at this time by the Junior Society of Home Schooled Minions.
If you want to learn how to speak fluent Kellyanese, please contact me, and I will send you the skedoolie for the next class, unless I have Black Amulga. Thank you.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Things about Me

1. I love to doodle
2. I love quarters. I hoard them!
3. I have a teddy bear named PawPaw.
4. I am a spoiler by nature
5. I love kids!
6. I like surprising people with goodie baskets
7. I have a strong testimony of Jesus Christ
8. I am a proud member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints
9. I collect Fisher Price Little People (People and Animals)
10. I collect Hallmark Christmas Ornaments
11. My hubby calls me Queen Clearance
12. I play the clarinet, all sizes (Soprano, Alto, Bass, Contra Bass etc)
13. I like to theme birthdays, even if there is no party
14. I am a cave dweller, especially in the summer. I like a dark and quiet house.
15. I like to flick corn chips at Didi!

Monday, February 16, 2009

My To Do List

So, you are all wondering how I keep busy now that I am an empty nester. It is quite easy, I watch TV and eat bonbons all day! I so would love to do that, but alas, life happens.
I had written a very long explanation of what I did all day. I had posted it. I had looked at it for a few days, and now I deleted it. You are wondering why did you delete it? It was too long of a list, and it was actually a little boring to read. So here is the abbreviated list:
*Cub Scouts
Each and everyone one of my hobbies, projects, callings etc. are very dear to me, I love them all!
So now, I will go back to my TV and bonbon dream. Maybe on a private little island. I wonder if my hubby will mind if I hire a cabana boy named Ricardo? LOL

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

New and Broken Hearts

I just got the news today. It was really hard to take. It all started on Friday. My nephew's wife was having problems with her pregnancy, and on Friday she was sent to the hospital. On Saturday morning she had an emergency C-Section. Her little boy was extreme preemie, 3 lbs 2 oz. He and his mother are doing as well. Then on Sunday evening, my brother... my nephew's Dad... the new Grandpa... had a massive heart attack. He had some stents put in and is recovering. I talked to my brother on Saturday, he was so proud of his new grandson. Then I get an email from his wife today, telling me about the heart attack. I don't know what I would do if I lost him. Let me tell you a little about my family. In the last six years, I have lost all three of my uncles (my aunts passed a few years before), the last of my grandparents, my mother and my other brother. That leaves me with one brother and my Dad. Now my Dad is a not really with us because of the advanced state of his Old Timers disease. So... when I read the email I just started crying. Silly me.
I know I will see all my family again, so I am more lonely than sad about their parting. I just don't want to be left all alone here on this big chunk of dirt! *folds arms and stomps foot* I am so glad that I have a loving and supportive husband and the world's best kiddobeans!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

What color is yellow?

So, what color is yellow? A topic I have been pondering for several days now. It all started with Cub Scouts. You see, I have a dear friend who is also a doodler. Although when she doodles it turns out to be a beautiful work of art, when I doodle is turns out to be... well... a doodle. Well my friend, I will call her Doodlebear, is also a Cubmaster. Her and I and several other people were in a committee meeting discussing the upcoming Blue and Gold Banquet. When I was volunteered to get the cake. I don't really know how that happened, I thought for sure my hand was tucked safely in my pocket. But it must have a sensing devise built in that will automatically raise when someone asks for volunteers. I need to look into that, maybe there is an enable switch. Anywho, back to the meeting. I asked a simple question, "What colors should we make the cake?" You could hear the crickets chirping.... they were all looking at each other wondering who was going to say "Duh, Blue and Gold" I looked at Doodlebear and she was grinning and asked "Are we thinking Crayola or Prismacolor?" Every since that meeting we have emailed back and forth what we thought the color yellow should be. What we came up with is this... if we are talking about Crayolas, then it would be Dandelion. Yellow in the Prismacolor spectrum would be Canary Yellow. Now all we have to do is figure out what color blue should be...

Friday, January 2, 2009

A New Year

Can you believe it? It is already 2009! Where did last year go? Let's see... it isn't in the fridge or in the little cardboard box in the back of the closet. It must have slipped out of the window. I had better get a tighter grip on this year!
Guess what! Next Wednesday, January 7, 2009, is my 25th Wedding Anniversary! I have had 25 years wonderful years with Mr. Projectman! We were going to take a cruise to Alaska to celebrate, but the AC on the house gave up the ghost. So we had to adopt a brand new one, costing us the price of the cruise plus some. Soooo.... we are going to the Wildlife World Zoo and Aquarium in Glendale Arizona. Not as fun as a cruise, but well within the realms of vacation. (In case you didn't know, but Mr. Projectman's middle name is Uberfrugal)
Small blog, but at least it is something.