Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Taming the Monster

It starts out so innocently. It always does; most often when you move into your new home. Mine started out that way. We were young, what can I say? Had we known then what we now know, perhaps things would have been different. It was a big house, at least compared to our tiny little apartment. Each of our kids had their own room, which was perfectly fine. Every room had a purpose; we ate in the living room, did crafts in the dining room etc. But what caught us off guard was upstairs, to the right. That is where the monster was born. We had a space, a large room, which had no allocation. So we slowly added Character to the dark lonely room, a bookshelf here, a desk there etc. Through the years Character became Clutter. By the time the kids had moved out and we laid our parents to rest Clutter had grown so out of hand that it became Hoard. Now Hoard has a bad habit of going viral. We had him fairly contained to the upstairs, the garage, the master closet, the kid’s garage… then he started to creep downstairs. Hoard was taking over our house and our lives! It was time to tame the monster!!!
So how do you tame the Hoard Monster? The very first thing you do is to stare blankly into the most contaminated room. Most of the time your jaw drops and you shake your head in disbelief. A feeling a complete overwhelming helplessness settles in. That is one of Hoards greatest weapons! He is quite cunning you know. But I found his weakness, his Achilles’ heel. He is so busy flaunting his vastness that he doesn’t recognize teeny tiny attacks. So after your jaw is back up and your head is stabilized, plot out a plan of action. I started with the craft room, formerly known as Sarah’s room. Remember teeny tiny steps. I tiptoed into the room, so I wouldn’t step on anything, and started with just one plastic box of unknowns. Hoard didn’t even realize I had organized it at all! Success was mine! So day after day, week after week I conquered little bits of Hoard. It was not always easy, sometimes Hoard deployed some of his worst weapons i.e. the Remember Whens, the Just in Cases, and the horrible Too Cutes. But I had a goal; I needed space more than stuff. Especially if I am to spoil my new twin grandsons!
I am happy to say that after two months of grueling war, the Hoard Monster has been defeated. I still live with Clutter, she is small, but I will have to constantly work at keeping her at bay. But with my new order, my freedom from Hoard, I can now concentrate on the best things in life!